Arise Sam Allardyce, the fixer of broken teams, the straight-talking, no-nonsense man from the midlands, the new England Manager!! And to salute this moment what better excuse for the the PFTP boys to boot up Kick Off 2, a game coincidentally that has much in common with Big Sam, with it’s direct football and long balls (tho short passes are possible too) and abundance of footy stats…
One of Big Sam’s attributes both as a player and a manager is tough tackling so by way of a tribute we set up a 6-a-side death match! Si, Ste and Gaz were the reducers, intent on one thing, to injure the b*****ds lol while clocking up as many fouls and cards within a 5 minute half. Ste aka Evil accumulated the most fouls yet without landing the killer tackle whereas Gaz with the fewest fouls achieved the objective but not until 4’46” on the clock. The Big Sam Bionic Man award, however, goes to Si achieving an impressive injury inducing foul after 3’35” amongst a spree of 17 fouls!
Time for Kick Off
Like all Big Sam’s teams we were slightly bruised but we were fearless, we were motivated and we were ready….
Si 5 – 5 Ste
Si 2 – 4 Gaz
Ste 7 – 4 Gaz
And the opener between Ste and Si was an absolute stonker but this game will be remembered for one thing, Evil’s late equiliser… or was it? With the ball seemingly rebounding back off the post without the crossing the line, the ref still gave it! How??? The Big Scam lol. Well put Si but hard lines mate. Meanwhile, so engrossed in the game, Gaz unwittingly began his own challenge, one involving a packet of chocolate digestives haha. With crumbs still on his shirt Gaz produced some economical finishing to gain an early lead, which he held on to, secured by a lockout formation late for 4-2 glory. Ste then showed great attacking flair with an emphatic 7-4 victory over Gaz and even had time for some show-boating magic with a reverse coca cola kid flick to put the ball out of play. Oh layyy!
Ste 7 – 10 Si
Gaz 2 – 0 Si
Gaz 6 – 4 Ste
On the back of his 7-4 demolition of Gaz, Ste the self-proclaimed “Mr Big Score”, got a taste of his own medicine against Si haha. Despite Ste clocking up yet more goals, this time he was outgunned by Si’s double-digit display that was as hot as the temperatures outside. Scorchio! Si, however, went from heaven to hell against Gaz in a game that looked destined for a rare 0-0 outcome. Big Sam would have been proud of this slugfest of a match, with the deadlock only breaking thanks to set piece special ala Jay Jay Okocha with a grass-cutting drive that swerved around the wall and wickedly just inside the far post. Get in, you beauty! Gaz was believing now, and under the virtual man-management of Big Sam himself, he was punching about his weight and finished on a victory to clinch the evening’s title. The spirits were high, Big Sam’s Barmy Army were in full voice and could be heard all the way from the West Midlands to Wembley. And from all of us, big luck to the Big Man!