Stuart Pearce scores his penalty against Spain Euro 96

It’s here! Euro 2016 is underway and already the parallels can be seen… England draw their opener 1-1, then victors over another home nation side, maybe just maybe, it’s like 1996 all over again – or even better!

Milestones, forks in the road, change is in the air alright… Ste’s changing employers after almost 20 years, Gaz has just started a new job too, even Ellie finished her GCSEs today and then there’s the in-out-shake it-all-about EU Referendum next week.

So using the same method as in The End of an Era and Who Will The Title? we adopted the 3-man, 6-player format once again on the old favourite that is Kick Off 2 to give our just-for-fun footy forecast….


Ste    France    1    –    2    Belgium    Si
Gaz    Germany    1    –    3    England    Si
Gaz    Spain    6    –    5    Italy Ste


To get our Retro Euro underway,  Ste as hosts France struggled to find a way through some world class defending from Si’s Belgium who claimed a 1-2 opener. After inflicting a kick in De Groiner, Si produced an historic first round victory for England against  an uncharacteristically iffy Germany. Not scratch and sniffy though, just ask Joachim!  A low key start for Gaz but like a rubber ball he came bouncing back when he El Spannered Ste’s Italian job, 6-5! And this was in spite of the day light ribbery lol of the half-time whistle to deny the Spanish a certain goal.


Si    Italy    5    –    4    Belgium Ste
Si    Germany    1    –    5    France Gaz
Ste    England    2    –    1    Italy Gaz
Round two again saw Ste, this time as Belgium, lose to another injury time winner ss Si’s Italy stashed these 3-points in the baggio. It was ‘Auf Wiedersehen, Pet’ for Si’s Germany, however, with Gaz’s France romping home 5-1. That’s losing alright. Meanwhile the second round concluded with with another tight Ste v Si encounter, giving England a narrow but priceless 2-1 result.


Ste    Germany    10    –    2    France    Si
Gaz    England    6    –    0    Spain    Si
Gaz    Belgium    2    –    7    Spain    Ste
With echos of the Brazil 2014 World Cup, the concluding round saw Ste’s Germany absolutely muller Si’s France,  10-2, in an awesome display of attacking efficiency or hapless goalkeeping depending on your point of view. England under Gaz’s control were quick out of the blocks against Si’s Spain. VARDY! The man of the moment just cannot stop scoring and saw a sea of St Georges flags in a never-in-doubt 6-0 beating.  And Steve Evil  concluded the night with another blistering 7-2 victory to help Spain’s title ambitions.

So that was that but what does it all mean? The Three Lions, the only team with the three victories, are crowned Retro Euro 2016 Champions! Just for fun, of course, but we can dream… COME ON ENGLAND!!!


Retro  Euro '16



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