And so our 25UP celebrations continued… dare you take on the whistle-blowing, card-happy unforgiving ref that is Screech?   Named of course after the game’s graphics designer Steve Screech, the night was also an appreciation of his fine work that to this day is part of the magic that is Kick Off 2.


So Screech would be the referree for the night, but first our ‘Best of’ Challenge set the objective to take down your opponent under Screech’s watchful eye and see if you could get away with it…. TWENTY-FIVE times!

First up was Ste who found that it’s actually harder than you think to slide-tackle the CPU team with it’s tiki-taka  passing style though he nevertheless completed the task, which is no mean feat itself, in a time of 9:16, with just 44 seconds to spare. Gaz, perhaps with second mover advantage, certainly got stuck in,  clocked up 16 bruising encounters by HT and completed the whole challenge in an impressive 6:48.  Could this be the record? Jon who’s natural instinct is to bypass the opponent altogether found this a challenge too far, managing only 20 take-downs in the allotted 2x5mins. Finally Si, two times world’s best defence and bookies favourite, would surely show us how this is done? In the end he was oh so close but no cigar…


As you can see Gaz topped the table with a surprising 44% of his take-downs going unnoticed by Sir Screech. Unluckily for Si he would have achieved the highest score had he not fell one short and incurred the 10 penalty points.  Screech took a no-nonsense approach  to Evil who got away with just 28% of his “fouls” whereas Jon, challenged the challenge rather than completed it haha. Anyway, in this not-so-scientific analysis, we found on average Screech blew the whistle on no more than 60% of physical challenges and out of 94 opportunties, he brandished the cards on just 17 occasions, suggesting he’s maybe not so severe as we’d believed.

Let the games begin…


Gaz 2 – 5 Jon
Ste 5 – 4 Gaz
Gaz 1 – 4 Si

Great to have Jon back over again, after far too long; in fact we reckoned it was not since the Frank and Thorsten weekend back in 2011! Not that the inactivity seemed to affect him. With 0:07 on the clock in a warm-up game,  Gaz was already picking the ball out of the net! This set the tone for their official game which went to Jon, 5-2, who was in cruise control blowing away both his cobwebs and his opponent at the same time!. Gaz then snook a lead, I believe, against top-of-the-leaderboard Ste but games can change in a blink of an eye and a couple of quick fire goals turned this game upside down, 5-4 to Evil. Can’t remember too much about his first against Si, don’t think Gaz’s  keeper does either lol, marking a disappointing hat-trick of defeats for him. .

Jon 0 – 2 Gaz
Gaz 6 – 5 Ste
Si 5 – 1 Gaz

Enough was enough, time to steady the ship, and a determined defensive performance, not least from goalkeeper, Fisher, saw Kobraman overcome Jon and with a rare cleansheet too, chalking up his first victory 2-0. Good to see you back in action, mate. With renewed confidence Gaz again took an early lead against Evil but would he let it slip? Never-say-die Steve kept coming back while joking about the is-it, isn’t-it status of our tourney haha but thankfully for Gaz, he clung on, albeit with some time-wasting measures at the end for a 6-5 result. Nevertheless, well played to Ste on your night’s results -the leaderboard never lies as they say. The final match had that de-ja vu feeling, with promotion-chasing Si in easy-street and with Gaz needing another beer. Well played mate and fingers crossed for your interview result too.


1. Ste W4D0L2 GD+4 Pts12
2. Si W3D0L3 GD+4 Pts9
3. Jon W3D0L3 GD0 Pts9
4. Gaz W2D0L4 GD-8 Pts6

Kudos to Ste who topped the night’s table and added to his leaderboard tally, which currently shows the latest average totals…

JFF25 13022015

Si 5 – 3 Ste
Gaz 2 – 5 Jon
Ste 5 – 4 Gaz
Jon 3 – 2 Si
Ste 5 – 3 Jon
Gaz 1 – 4 Si

Ste 6 – 3 Si
Jon 0 – 2 Gaz
Gaz 6 – 5 Ste
Si 2 – 3 Jon
Jon 4 -5 Ste
Si 5 – 1 Gaz

So, that was that,  6 weeks into this anniversary year, we gave the red card to the staid, and the green light to new, more inventive ways of playing. With more tourney suggestions in the air, this is sure to be continued…


2 thoughts on “Man vs Screech

  1. Pingback: Advent Calendar Kick Off !?! | Press Fire to Play

  2. Pingback: Who will win the title? | Press Fire to Play

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